Lots of Misturnings
by theyorkshirelass
Summary: Modern life is scarily reflecting Pride and prejudice, for Elizabeth Collins. The acting is suddenly very real not only to herself but it seems to the whole of England.
1. Chapter 1

_Here is my try at Pride and Prejudice modern style, I know, I know, not very original but I love the book so I shall pay my respects to it and its amazing author Jane Austen. _

The extraordinary circumstances what happen to pull everyone together otherwise known as the beginning. The Bennett's of this story.

Meryton in Hertfordshire that peaceful idyllic place not too far from London but not close enough to see smog. Where birds chirped peacefully and cats and dogs got on like a house on fire. The green hills what stretch for miles with a lone horse drawn carriage on the country road.

Disillusioned. Gullible. Naïve. Living under a rock.

You are if you believe that description, well maybe in the 1800's with a swooning Elizabeth Bennett and a bigoted Mr. Darcy running around the place but not today. We are in the glorious millennium of 2010. Yep, so I bet you can guess what it's like now. A million and one flats with rubbish piling high on the street corners, because the bin men are on strike. Again. If it's not the bin men it's the postmen and if not them it's the teachers. I wish the teachers were on strike but no they chose to come back today so our glorious two weeks of no school have been cut short and the teachers will probably expect us to have studied during that time. And they say there human?

Well since where sitting in a thousand car pileup on the motorway, at the back end of summer, did I mention the leather seats which are burning my legs. Why did I wear a skirt, Oh yeah it's boiling yet I'm getting burnt by dead cow. Fun. I should tell you about myself. You should note sarcasm, my sarcasm is like a Ninja, attacks you in surprise.

I am Elizabeth Collins. I know such an old name. The English teacher loves it. He lived during caveman times, and every time he says my name he mentions Pride and Prejudice, every single time. I have no idea why, something about irony or shadowing, I turn of when he starts sweating, when he gets excited about my name he sweats, it's a bit creepy. Another clincher is I actually do have five sisters well I prefer to think of them as aliens who are just residing with me. I am the second oldest, my last year of 6th form, well I finished last year as I'm now 19 but I had an extra year to prepare me for Oxford or Cambridge. I finish in about 12 weeks. The eldest is lovely Jane Collins. She left school two years ago, wonderful with children; she's training to be a special needs teacher. I do not understand why she wouldn't want a gap year she charged straight into university. The next daughter is Mary who is 18. Mary is quite, the others all call her boring, I must agree I do too, but she'll probably astound us, she might be the plainest but the one who is actually going to do well. Catherine, I believe she goes to school but she is hardly there, she is 17 and still has another year. The youngest is Lucy at sweet 16; I don't think she even knows what a school is for. She is more interested in boys, well men; really; most of her boyfriends are a decade older than herself. Lucy is the leader of Catherine. Why the girl follows such a silly thing I will never know. So my sisters or aliens that's them in a nutshell. Most of them are in the Hummer as well save Jane. Cathy and Lucy are squabbling about who's bag is whose, how they can mix them up when one is purple and the other orange is a question I have to ask God almost daily, he doesn't know either. I put it down to them being silly, silly girls. Mary is flicking through her play book. Not a largely known fact that she is a wonderful actor. I personally think her silly slutty girl parts are very life like; I can defiantly see a lot of Lucy in those performances.

My mother, well apparently she was an American Beauty queen, Nope, not Miss Congeniality, wish she was, girl power. My mother was one of those dolls with more plastic on them then in the landfill. "I wish for world peace and handbags for the poor." Silly fake voice and all. She is 39; she had Jane when she was 18. She had been married to my father for a year then; you may ask why because my father to put it kindly has seen the other end of his midlife crises and is just shy of 50. Well he is very rich, a lawyer, THE lawyer, his cliental is celebs and politicians.

Finally we are moving, or not. False alarm the car in front moved about an inch, I know we was excited too. Not for school to get off this seat. Looks like where going to be late joy. I have drama first too, double joy. I hate drama.


	2. Chapter 2

_Hi I'm back, so I have been busy (ish) with Harry Potter fics, but I have bought Emma so I have been re-reading and I love it, but this is PnP so on with the show._

_I don't own Pride and Prejudice because I'm not that old._

"Elizabeth darling, when you are back at school I want you to be on the lookout for a Charlie Bingley. He too is supposed to be in your half year program, when you meet, make sure to make a good impression and do mention your father."

My mother carried on with how to talk to the boy and how important this was for the family, something to do with connections, seriously it sounded as if was next in line for the throne. Which would be Prince William and may I just say he should be next in line not his father. I mean he's too old. Rant over. I really am one for the Royals apart from a certain someone. Anyway, I actually did know who this Charlie was my mother had a rather long discussion about him after dinner.

He is known to be Rich, handsome and quite a catch. So everyone wants to be linked to his family, they also have a history in law however they are further up the food chain much more like a judge.

Last night my mother sounded as if she had a crush but she protested it was for our fathers benefit and ours, she really does sound like . Let me explain marriage is not expected at our age but before a girl turns 25 she should be 'promised' I shiver at the thought, it's like a status, just like having a drivers license. So my mother runs around trying to get us 'Promised' out of all of us Jane was the closet when she was younger but it went south after I told everyone what I saw in the Janitors closet. I never liked him anyway.

Anyway I'll just tell you of last night before I get distracted. Again.

"OOOHHH, darling you would not believe the information I have." Gracie Collins squealed as she pranced into her husband's study. Barley looking up from his files Andrew Collins merely let her continue to wait hands on hips.

"Well."

His option of ignoring her disappeared, which he wished she did but no she stood there expectantly fooled into thinking he cared about the latest trivial gossip.

"I can only hope you have decided to gag yourself, if that's the case do not stop me."

Gracie slapped his arm laughing at what she thought to be a joke if only she knew how often that was on the Christmas list.

"Mr. and Mrs. Bingley with their son and two daughters are moving into the house across the way."

A pause for dramatic effect which Gracie assumed gasping or asking for more details would fill the gap however the silence reined.

"Mr Bingley is a high-ranking Judge from the North, while his son is unattached." The last part of her sentence became unintelligible to all but dogs, even they could feel their ears ringing.

"I do remind you of the band you where on your hand and the 500 strong invitees to our wedding a few years back."

"Not for me dear, I am far too perfect for a child but he will do for our Girls, Jane slightly older but perfect or Elizabeth they are the same age maybe he prefers plain. But surly the other girls will be attractive too."

Andrew let her continue I her fantasies, a promise ceremony sounded utterly despondent but if it kept her busy away from himself and his office he would let her continue.

"You must visit it's only right if you became father-in-law."

"Who said anything of marriage."

"Well he will fall in love with them.

"I see you predict this like the weather. And last time you predicted a month of sun, it flooded for two."


	3. Chapter 3

_Hey I'm back, I didn't relies how many people had actually clicked on the story until I looked at the stats, my heart warmed and again from the reviews and comments I received, to those who have alerted I am sorry for the delay and I hope this lives up to your expectations. I have been battling how to do this chapter. _

_I shall class this as an alternate chapter, it is from the boy's point of view, so just remember that it is not necessary, I tossed and turned whether to include this and I have decided to. _

_Miss Austen owns her stuff and I mine. _

Finally he was out of the reaches of his best friend's sister; Caroline. Though she was also undertaking the extra year course, of which the last 12 weeks would be spent at Hertfordshire, she had chosen less exerting lessons based around home economics.

Far removed from the prestigious home tutoring system, the Bingley's saw their ageing children and decided they needed to be thrust into society and their futures set in concrete. They had all toured around the school and settled final class's long before the school bell had rang leaving them time to get lost without the staring. William settled into the corner seat at the back of the room, gazing out at the students pouring into the school with their blue knitted jumpers crumpled into bags. Charlie was fidgeting and flicking though his textbooks trying to stop himself from glancing at the door and the clock repeatedly.

The first day of school, first lesson and drama where a lethal mix for his friend, who became tongue-tied as soon as a skirt wearing girl entered his eyesight. The drama teacher's scalp shone as he busied himself scrawling on the white board, trying to stay as close to the fan as possible.

The school bell yelped out to the lingering students running towards the prison like gates. Charlie jumping in the sticky plastic seat, the cracking of his knee on the underside of a bubblegum covered desk resonated through the classroom. Mr. Drama Teacher sent a pitying smile towards Charlie; it was hard enough to restrain myself when he sent the same one to me, my grimace fighting my lips. Students trickled in clutching Satchels and Rucksacks, trying to subtly figure out the new students. Mr. Drama quickly flitted to his students directing them to seats like an aircraft controller.

Although it was a small class, the school was captured in its social groups in the class. As per school children, they measured you up in one glance, trying to find which tailor you came from. There were a few popular students those generally and the mean popular; the ones who where in with the P.E. teachers, a few musicians carrying various heavy instruments, nerds, punks and freaks where all among the assortments.

The hands of the clocked seemed to be frozen in time as Mr. Drama rounded the classroom, handing out heavy books and trying to find one student who had completed the homework assignment, he droned on discussing film technique and acting tricks, the class accustomed to the break sat gossiping, catching up on sleep or peering at Charlie and me.

Soon saved by the earth's rotating only 15 minutes remained of the class and when the second hand struck the four two girls rushed in, the first looked particularly disheveled as if she had run from her home, chestnut brown hair had escaped from a bun which was windswept her chocolate brown eyes hidden behind wisps of hair, she panted as she hoisted her leather satchel back on her shoulder and twisted her skirt. If Caroline was to see this girl, she would have ripped the girl to sheds from her untainted face clear of makeup to scuffed shoes and fallen knee length socks. She drew looks from the rest of the class a few smothered laughs and some fellow boys stared at her slighter too high skirt. She was not a beauty, her hair not tame, not the tallest or the thinnest but her intrigue came from her eyes her mouth which now looked apologetic. The girls behind her quite and plain like a mouse, she could easily be a teacher's pet if she didn't remain quite, and she could be an evil genius too. The other girl was quite obviously a sister however her hair was much closer to black and secured tightly in a scraped back ponytail, her glasses perched gently on her nose and her backpack fastened securely to her.

In a rush the first girl started speaking amazingly fast before the teacher could even say a word, not stopping for a breath as she explained how two other people couldn't find something and then getting caught in traffic.

Mr. Drama was either overwhelmed, like the girls or knew the other ones he let them go with a warning and pointed them over to a desk in front of Charlie and I.

Only one other thing happened of interest, a school drama play and all drama students would be expected to take part and appear at auditions tonight at 5. The girl in the glasses sharply looked up and shot her hand up like a young Hermione.

"What play are we doing?"

The rest of the class looked up too, it was their grade.

"Well Miss Collins, you'll find out tonight."

The class where quickly dismissed but the girl in the skirt lingered as she packed up, her timetable perched on the table showed she had a maths lesson. A shame, only one class together so far.

As she walked out and I followed with Charlie at my side I wondered why I cared, she was a nobody and I would only know her for 12 weeks, I could only guess she was a Collins, with at least one sister or possibly more maybe two.

The audition tonight would hopefully not be the second time they met today.


End file.
